I've blogged before about this online dating business and the stigma about it and so on. But until recently I didn't know just how different an experience it could be for women. I feel just a little but like a whiner now. I've witched and moaned about the messages I get; some just say 'hi', some throw out cheesy lines (didn't even know chicks used lines), but none have been sexual in tone. Some are clever, some are just nice messages and the person has a nice profile so I respond. Until yesterday, ironically, I had never had anyone send me a message because I looked at their profile and didn't respond to the message. I don't get that practice at all. If I'm not interested, do you really think your bombarding me with more messages is gonna grab my interest?
But what I deal with is nothing compared to the stories my female friends have. I've heard and joked about the 'weirdos' (as we call them) that the ladies sometimes (okay, often) have to deal with. These are the guys who write weird stuff or overtly sexual stuff, usually in their first message. My best friend joined up a few days ago and in only two days she has gotten 14 messages (yes, she is that good looking). One guy caught her fancy (or maybe seemed the least weird) and she replied to him. Three guys marked her as a favorite and she wrote to one of them. Three had completely empty profiles so she didn't respond. So far, we're 2 for 7. Three guys mentioned that they would be a good match for her because they're of the same ethnic background (a background she debated listing at all cuz she wasn't sure she wanted the guys it would bring). One wrote a long ass, creepy message about her eyes and how they intrigued him and he could tell what she was like by looking at them. She didn't respond to him either. Yet another guy claimed he's still working on finishing college, yet he makes a million dollars a year. (Right. And my daughter is gonna actually get a monkey for her birthday next week.) But the final dude took the cake; he sent a message asking if she dates his ethnicity and she checked out his profile. When she didn't write back immediately upon viewing his profile he sent another message asking why she didn't like him and pointing out that he's dated women with kids before (as if that were the issue here). She wrote back saying she just wasn't interested but it had nothing to do with color and he sent a long winded message back about how people are still so close minded to interracial relationships and how he doesn't "shun out women that already have children". WTF? Then last night he sends yet another message saying his name and that he'd like to get to know her. This morning, another message about how the weather sucks and then asking her to write back. I told her to block him if he contacts her again.
It's funny how different the experiences can be. A female friend mentioned that I should give the women who just write 'hi' a break because they're probably intimidated by my profile. I guess I get that, but then I've written to women who seemed intimidating. I don't know if that's a chick v. dude thing or not. I know some guys are all kindsa intimidated by women who are smarter/further along in life but I didn't know I could intimidate anybody. But in a way it makes sense since the messages I get worth replying to are from women who are what I refer to as 'smart girls' (PhD's, etc.). Smart girls don't seem to be intimidated by much. I like that. But now I'm wondering if there are any 'smart guys' that exist or if my best friend has already seen the best that site has to offer.
