What is it about sex with an ex that is so appealing? I guess it could be the forbidden yet familiar nature of it. For some reason it feels good to do something bad, it's oddly liberating. And having sex with a former flame usually (okay, always) provides that so-bad-it's-good feeling with minimal health risk involved. What they don't show you in the the sex with an ex brochure are the emotional side effects, specifically the chances of catching feelings. I am a repeat offender when it comes to this particular practice. Years ago I did it because, hey free sex and none of the expectations of being a boyfriend. Why say no, right? But, as I eventually learned, ain't nothin' free. Especially not when it comes to relationships.
Recently I've done the hook-up with an ex thing thing more than I'd like to admit. Even though my reasons now are different than they were during the 'dark ages', I still don't think it's a good way to go about fulfilling an immediate need. Emotions are messy under the best of circumstances so they can get downright outta control when there's sex but no commitment involved. Such is the predicament I find myself in now. The author of the infamous "Burned" entry and I found ourselves in a moment a few weeks ago. The right thing to do would've been to let it pass and move on with our lives but instead we gave in. Afterward there was no conversation at all, the next time we spoke was a few days later and we made no mention of what we'd done. A week later we did it again but, after having thought about the first time for a few days, I decided to ask her a very important question. When I'd wanted to try dating again after I got myself together, she said no cuz she didn't think she could handle completely cutting me out of her life if it didn't work. So now I asked how she was able to hook-up with me but not attach any feelings to it. Some people can have sex with no attachment at all but I know she is not one of those people. She didn't respond to my question and when I wouldn't drop it she stormed out and we haven't spoken since.
My intent was not to piss her off, but to gauge if she thought the sex might evolve into something more. I guess I got my answer. But now we're in that weird in-between area of not speaking and therefore not knowing what to do now. I think we'd both like to stay friends and I hope the not talking is just so she can sort things out in her head and then we move on. But I know it could go the other way, which would seriously suck. And because I'm so freakin' impatient, the waiting is that much worse. *sigh* No good comes from sex with an ex.
