I did not realize that I have been out of high school for (just over) ten years until yesterday. Last night I went out with some family and friends and ran into a former classmate of mine at a sports bar. I didn't recognize her at all, we weren't friends but she was in the same clique as my best friend's younger sister. She said she recognized me by my eyes (I get that a lot, apparently I have very distinguishable eyes) and we chatted for a few minutes and then she said, "Isn't it depressing that we've been out of high school for a DECADE??". Now that I have lived with that comment for a few hours, I have decided yes. Yes, it is depressing.
High school was really not all that fun for me. I went to a typical inner city high school, diverse but probably 95% Hispanic, and I was a decent student. I made honor roll my sophomore year (only because none of my friends were in any of my classes, which I still think was some kinda conspiracy) and pulled mostly B's and C's the rest of the way. I didn't play sports, even though I had played baseball since I was a kid because my focus was on writing and music. During my stellar sophomore year I got into a program that let me spend half of my day doing normal schooling and the other half working in film. (The funny thing is that I never intended to be in that particular program, it was my second pick but somehow got marked as my first and, what do ya know, I found I have a passion for it). As far as friends I wasn't super popular but I had my group (not to mention my million family members who went to the same school) and I enjoyed hanging out with them. It was a decent experience but I spent most of my four years looking forward to college and spending my time studying something I was passionate about.
I'm still friends with pretty much everyone that mattered to me in high school, some of them went to college with me. None of us attended our ten year high school reunion. I know most people like to go to flaunt where they are ten years later but I didn't even feel the need to do that. If you have to throw it in somebody's face then how good can it really be? Plus, I've managed to hear about most of my class as well as the classes a few years before and after me via FB anyway. So I know what they've been up to (though the reverse is not true since my FB is locked down and not searchable). It really makes you think when you see these people (in pictures) ten years later and hear what they're up to.
The little 'Mean Girls' clique of our school were a year younger than me. I don't know if I'd say they were as intense as the movie, or even if they were truly mean, but it was obvious they were the group everyone was supposed to wanna be in. There were about eight or so members of their little clique and I know of at least three who had crushes on me but never said anything to my face (I wasn't cool enough to openly have a crush on apparently). I ended up being a manager for the girls basketball team for two years, which most of them were on, but I don't remember saying two words to any of them. The one I ran into last night was most definitely the leader of the pack and she works as a spokesmodel now. You know that scene in 'Romy & Michele' where they go back and all of the popular girls are knocked up and "happy" with their husbands? I half expected that with this bunch but, amazingly, no one is a parent or a wife and all but one of them have their degrees. All have managed to make friends with some of the kids they once wouldn't even consider befriending (the one I talked to last night is now BFF's with one of my friends I used to get in trouble in art class). In fact, they're probably some of the most successful members of of any of the graduating classes our school ever produced.
Then there are the acquaintances I used to keep in high school. The kids I wasn't really friends with but would talk to in this class or that one (like the art class friend). They're all over the map in terms of where their lives are now. A few are in the army, some preparing for deployment as medics. The rest are either married with kids or single with kids. One is in med school, another is out in California working for a Division 1 college. But most still live in the city they grew up in.
A few years ago I ran into someone I went to kindergarten with, lost touch with for two years and then we ended up at the same high school together. We fell out of contact after graduation, she's a single mother of a daughter now. I remember thinking about how thrilled her parents must have been to hear that news since she was raised in a super religious household. Another person I hung out with a lot is working with wildlife in Australia and I was surprised that she even went to college since school was not her environment at all. One of the girls I briefly dated in high school has a daughter and, by year's end, an ex-husband. That's what surprises more than anything is how many of my ex-classmates have already been married and divorced. It's surprising how many of those who had plans to do this or that are now single parents.
As for my little community of friends, all are college graduates (which is huge where we come from) and there are only six babies amongst the group. All of us have breezed in and out of long-term relationships and some of us dated in high school but have found amazing friendships since our break-ups. No divorces to speak of, but one annulment and a number of broken engagements (again, some with each other but those friendships seem to endure).
Am I where I thought I'd be ten years after graduation (which I missed because of a prank I pulled that went wrong and well...yeah, you don't get to walk with your class when that happens)? I can honestly say that no, I am not. I expected to be married with babies by now. Instead I'm single with a toddler and a teenager. I'm nowhere near where I expected but I am more content that I ever thought I could be. That's more than enough.
