I love texts that start as one thing and end up another. My cousin's husband, also one of my best friends, texted this morning to see how things are going with the family. We never got around to that convo but the one we did have provided some much needed comic relief.
Friend: What up Giuseppe?
Me: lol Giuseppe?
Friend: I'm trying it out. I'm not in love with you yet.
Me: LOL. Uh...that's good news.
Me: Can you tell me what I'm doing to make you fall in love with me so I can avoid it from now on?
Friend: IN LOVE WITH IT. NOT YOU. lol Shut up
Friend: At least your name doesn't translate to Geppetto. Then you'd be a frog.
Me: A frog? WTF?
Friend: The frog in the movies was named Geppetto
Me: I don't think that's right. Wasn't that Pinocchio's father/creator's name?
Friend: No dude. It was the frog. His dad's name was Giuseppe. Duh
Me: Ok, pretty sure no one was named Giuseppe in that movie and I doubt they would give two characters such similar names. Especially if they're different species. Duh.
Me: And there was no frog.
Friend: Uh huh! He was his creator or his...I don't know, but there was a third main character in there.
Me: No dude. His creator was Geppetto.
Friend: Fine then the frog was his adoptive brother or something
Me: LOL. You are so wrong. But very entertaining in your wrongness
Friend: lol I'm married, I'm always wrong. Find a lady friend who can put up with you and join me in constant wrongness (or "wedded bliss"), won't you?
Me: NO. THANK. YOU. But good luck with that.
Me: Too bad you're married though since you declared your love for me today. And we know you're able to put up with me
Friend: LMAO. You wish I were in love with you! You'd be lucky to have me
Me: But...you just said you were...I'm crushed now.
Friend: lol F*ck off
Me: Btw, my mom says there is no frog. You're thinking of Jiminy Cricket who was Pinocchio's conscience and was, SHOCK, a cricket.
Friend: lol Well what does your mom know
Me: She just said, (allow me to quote) "I know I'm gonna kick the ass of a little Canadian boy next time I see him." lol
Friend: Oooooohhh....she played the Canadian card. Burn...
Friend: I'm not Canadian, I'm not! I'm a real American boy!
Me: LOL. Well played sir
Friend: And an honorable mention to your mother sir
Friend: Anyway I texted to ask how everyone is
Me: I know. But that was so much better lol.
