Crazy Aunt: "Can't you just put your vibrator on?"
(Said while walking into an IMAX movie in the museum after my sister wondered out loud how to silence her phone.)
~~~
Crazy Aunt: "I like chocolate...but I would not turn down anything John Stamos wanted to give me."
Me: "Ew."
(After watching this commercial during family TV time.)
~~~
Crazy Aunt: "You know who I would like to date now? A black guy to see if the myths are true."
Sister: "Okay, that's enough. Let's get ready to go."
Crazy Aunt: "Mija, didn't you date a black guy in college? What was that like? Was he...you know...."
Me: "Was he what? What do you mean?"
Crazy Aunt: "Was he well hu-"
Sister: "OKAY! Time to go to the airport"
Crazy Aunt: "I guess that's a no...well...I'd still like to date one. Have a nice trip, mijo."
(All this said in front of my 12-year-old niece and my sister's partner at around 5AM the morning of my departure. Awesome.)
