My cousin and his wife celebrated their 10-year wedding anniversary over the weekend and two of my aunts are in town for the festivities. I love all of my aunts and uncles, and they all provide quite a bit of hilarity whenever I talk to any of them. But my aunts are far more exciting than my uncles because they just have no shame. They were both quite vocal at the party about wanting to be grandmothers sometime soon (well, one said sometime soon. The other one said, 'before Jesus takes me'). And they're always on the lookout for weddings to plan (they are caterers after all). Since my cousin's gay wedding looks to be dead in the water, they are now on a mission to marry off some of us straight folks. Whether we want to get married or not. One aunt is obsessed with all wedding shows but her favorites tend to be on the WE Network. It just so happens there is a new season of "Bridezillas" on that network and god forbid she not see it as soon as possible, even if she's not in her own home. I wish I could say I'd never seen an episode of this show before today, but that would be a lie. I'm surrounded by chicks; growing up and now that I'm an "adult", so I have seen episodes in the past but not for awhile. This show fascinates me though because I cannot for the life of me figure out why these dudes walk down that aisle. Even when I toss aside the fact that I don't want to get married, I still don't understand it. I mean, a chick saying you'll never see your boys again once you're married and she "owns" you is a big ass red flag that says, "Run for yo life homeboy!". Honestly, I'm always amazed when they actually make it through the ceremony. These chicks be crazy. I swear, it seems like some of these dudes feel it's better to be with a lunatic than to be alone. And then, even worse, they procreate! And thinking about those kids (boy or girl) growing up to be anything like their mothers sends a shiver right through me. Of course, most of them have girls so you know what's coming in 20 years time.
Even though I'm opposed to the whole marriage thing, I was at one point on the verge of taking that plunge and have thought about the concept of 'til death' (or a good divorce attorney) does two people part. I am incredibly thankful I never got around to paying for an aisle to walk down. But not because I'm anti-marriage, just because it wasn't the right situation for me. I was most definitely marrying for the wrong reasons; because I was still dealing with previous losses in my life and needed something to hold onto, and because we were friends so why not get hitched? I think because of all that I can kinda gauge what some of these couples are doing on this show. They marry too young, for the wrong reasons, for the "party" and not for the marriage that comes after. But the chicks have no reason to back out, even if they do have reservations, because they've landed a dude who obeys their every word. I know some dudes like to be bossed around like that but just thinking about living with that for a day, forget til you die...I don't know. Not for me. AT ALL. Shockingly, it seems as though the majority of couples they feature on that show are still together at least a few years after the wedding. And 99% of what the bride said would happen during filming (ie. he won't see his friends anymore, they'll be pregnant within months) comes to fruition. That show gives being whipped a whole new meaning.
