Years ago, I had a friend who told me the tale of her sister's engagement and marriage and I remember thinking it was ridiculous. Her sister met this dude and married him all within a three month span. They were engaged for about five minutes before having a quickie family wedding. A decade later, they have five kids and are still going strong so they obviously did something right. Then there's my sister and bro-in-law's story. They were still teenagers when they met and my bro-in-law has always said he knew the moment they met that he never wanted to be with anyone else. Not exactly love at first sight but just some general understanding that that is where we was meant to be. My sister however, did not feel the same. He asked her out, she said no. He asked her out again and she said no again. She even avoided sitting with me at lunch for awhile because she knew I'd be sitting with him. Finally she decided to accept the date just to get him out of her hair and the rest, as they say, is history. They're two very different stories of getting together but I think they have the same thing in common in that they were all smart enough to (eventually) ignore what other people were saying about things moving too fast and just go with it. They all just...knew.
A few days ago, another friend told me about her best friend having eloped with a dude she's known six weeks. They're both single parents and religious and just decided in the span of a month and a half to get hitched. Another case of knowing when you know I guess. And I get it, I've been that in love and that enamored with a person that you want to propose on the spot and just go for it. Fortunately for me (and my ex-lady friends), I'm not that...stupid. Let me explain. I'm not saying people that do jump in like that are wrong in any way, everybody does things differently and everything happens the way it is meant to. But it's always been in my nature to lose sight of the long-term ramifications of things. I'm a sucker for weddings so I inevitably get all worked up and think about how I might like that someday (eons from now, mind you), but forget that marriage is for life (which it really isn't for many people these days but would be for me). I get bored and that's really the major thing holding me back from feeling like I could ever make that kind of a long ass commitment. The funny thing is, I would have absolutely no qualms about proposing. Weird, huh? A long ass engagement with the right person I find to be completely doable. But I feel like the marriage thing adds a different dimension and would maybe make me feel too fenced in. I want to feel committed and in something for keeps BUT I don't want to lose my freedom. Impossible combination? We shall see. I wondered out loud in a post a few years ago whether I need someone equally scared of losing their independence, or if the reverse is true and I need someone who has dreamed about a wedding their entire life and has no fear of it and can reassure me that marriage does not equal losing your freedom. Jury is still out I guess.
