I Can Show You The World

Me: Have you ever had Starburst jelly beans?
Friend: Yes I have
Me: Watermelon, cherry and strawberry are my favorite and I found out they sell just those three flavors in one bag
Friend: And the planets just lined up for you huh lol
Me: lol they did
Me: That Starburst bag called out from the shelf and it says to me, it says...
Me: "I can show you the worlllllld, melon, cherry and berrrrry. Tell me Jeezy how scary is it that this is a highlight of your life"
Friend: LOL I can't tell you how awesome that was
Me: lol sometimes the magic just happens
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Me: LOL We're watching 'Cheaters' (bc it wasn't my turn to control the tv) and this woman says to the camera, she says, 'if he is cheatin' then...um..he's got some bad stuff comin'...like really'
Friend: lol I'd say, 'if he's cheatin', his hussy can ID him at the morgue'.
Me: lol YES!
Me: I've never understood why the wronged woman goes after the other chick instead of the fool who cheated on her
Friend: Neither do I
Me: LOL So they confront the guy at a midget wrestling event and the cheater gets his ass kicked by a midget
Friend: lol Dude, I would cheat just to have that kind of story
Me: 99 wrestling midgets abound, 99 wrestling midgets, take one down, pass 'em around, 98 wrestling midgets abound
Friend: LOL Everybody sing!