Me: I had a dream about you
Me: You texted me to go have dinner. But then I didn't hear from you and I called to see what was up
Me: And you sent a text that said, "Busy, will text later maybe", which I thought was odd.
Me: Then I turned on the TV and there you was in a slow speed chase
Me: Then I understood why you added the 'maybe' to your text lol
Friend: lol Damn. A slow speed chase totally sounds like me though
Me: Then for some reason when I woke up I heard the Chi-Lites "Have You Seen Her" in my head
Me: Apparently the chase didnt end well for you
Friend: LOL Tell me have you seen her?
Me: lol Yep
Me: I'm surprised I didn't see your mom on a street corner holding a Virgin Mary candle as you paddled by
Friend: LOL Fuck you as I paddled by...
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Me: lol This is oddly timely given this morning's conversation: "You: I can see you with your head sticking out of a cab asking some homeless guy if he's seen your teenager"
Me: Have you seen her? Tell me, have you seen her? Seen herrrr. Ohhhhhhh
Friend: LOL Well done
Me: lol It was too good
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TV: "Also! New pictures from the birth of Jesus! Only on Entertainment Tonight."
G: Well, it's about time. Only been thousands of years.
===========================
Me: I heard there was uproar over that because Satan looks like the President
Cousin: Why is Satan even in a series about the Bible? He's not in that, is he?
(Entire family stares and wonders where we went wrong)
==========================
What I wrote in my cousin's wedding book: If we're lucky we marry our best friend. If we're unlucky, we marry G. Congrats on doing better than your new husband's sister!
G: "Hey! You'd be lucky to have landed me. And, by the way, I AM one of your best friends."
Me: "I still wouldn't want to be married to you. Even if I was gay."
G: "Oh my god we would be such a power couple if we were gay!"
(Awkward silence)
Me: Well this just got weird
G: I am also uncomfortable
