Overheard at the vow renewal ceremony:
Crazy Aunt: "Mija...this is a wedding. You're not a stripper in a cage at a go-go bar. Put the twins away."
Cousin: "...How do you know there are cages in strip clubs?"
Crazy Aunt: "...You look beautiful Mija!"
Cousin: "Thought so."
==========
(While watching a TV show)
Cousin: "Wait, do people really do that on honeymoons?"
Me: "I don't know, I've never been on one"
(Uncle walks in)
Me: "Ask him"
Uncle: "Ask me what?"
Me: "He wants to know what honeymoons were like in the Mesozoic era"
Uncle: "How bout I kick your ass so hard that you get to see firsthand?"
Me: "We'll then I'd be able to see what you looked like with pigmentation in your hair"
Cousin: "Bazinga"
