Some of the fam and I went out last night and ended up shutting down a bar. But we weren't alone in our travels. We ran into a bachelorette party, clearly buzzed, and had some hilarious conversations. Like this one:
Bride-to-be: Oh my god, I'm soooo nervous about the wedding. It's on Saturday.
Cousin: I got married on a whim so I can't really give any advice.
Bridesmaid: How long have you been married?
Cousin: 10 years
Bridal party: AWWWW!! OH MY GOD!! THAT'S AWESOME!!
Me: Uh...you've been married 11 years
Cousin: ...Right. 11 years.
Me: Guess the years all run together in a life sentence huh
Cousin: Pretty much
Bride-to-be: Someone has to have advice!
Me: Just don't over think it, enjoy the day and remember that it's just one day and not everything has to be perfect.
Bridesmaid: Awww that's great advice. Are you married?
[Everyone at my side of the table lets out a collective "HA", some choke on their beverages (myself included)]
Me: Nooooo. And I don't intend to be
Bride-to-be: Dude, you remember dates and you just dished out awesome advice. Marry someone.
Best Friend: He could but...that would mean the end of days was around the bend and I'm just not comfortable with that
Cousin: You know those people who are great in one area of life but TERRIBLE in another? That's him.
G: We call him manwhore.
Cousin 2: I mean, he's had more relationships than most people three times his age...and sometimes with people three times his age
Sister: Some of them two at a time...
Bridesmaid: [to me] This is going to sound bad...but I think we might be soul mates. I hope you don't think I'm a whore.
Cousin: Well, he's never met a bridesmaid he didn't like. For a couple drunken hours, anyway.
Me: Like none of ya'll have ever hooked up at a wedding or bachelorette party
[Everyone at the table lets out a collective, "Duh"]
Me: I rest my case.
Bride-to-be: Well damn. Now that we're talking about casual sex and hook ups, I kind of have doubts about getting married.
Bridesmaid: Girl, you can come to our wedding next Thanksgiving [winks at me]
