Seeing her again was so unexpected, but in a good way. I didn't realize how long ago we'd dated until we got to talking. Sixteen years is like another life yo. We were just kids. Now, we both have kids. She married six years ago and has two daughters, the oldest of whom looks just like her. I thought she was gonna fall out of her chair when I told her I'm a father now. She said she knew I'd be a great dad someday, but for some reason she still thought of me as the youngin I was back when we dated. We talked about how entwined our lives used to be and how difficult it was to extricate ourselves, with Y dating her brother, her other brother and I becoming fairly close and staying in touch for a few years after it ended, and her mother and step-father also keeping in touch with me for a minute. Remembering all that and then seeing what very different lives we live now is amazing. She's a mother and a wife, two things she always wanted but she's given up her career, something she never thought she'd do. And she's happy with how her life has turned out. I'm a single father and, back then, I never thought I'd be responsible enough to raise a kid without constant supervision. I'm happy with how my life is turning out too. It was awesome to be able to reminisce and talk about old times, knowing how great we're both doing now. For years, feelings of either anger or romance lingered between us, which is why we consciously lost contact. It's one of those relationships where in a different world, or even had it happened at a different time, it probably could've blossomed. Timing is everything, as they say. But I believe we've both ended up where we were always meant to in this life. And I'm glad we've both ended up happy.
Friday, July 25, 2014
So Far From Where We've Been, I Know We're Cool
Life is crazy, yo. I ran into an ex last week at a coffee shop and the irony of that is ridiculous. We spent the night we met talking at a coffee shop until 4 in the morning. Sixteen years ago. Life is crazy, yo. Talk about full circle. We met at like a concert or something, she was on the verge of 20, I was 17. She was in the States with friends before starting university back in London. I had only been single for about a week when we met but we hit it off and a few months later I flew across the pond on a pre-planned summer trip with friends. Those three months were great, but when I came back things got complicated. While I'd already departed (if only temporarily) my first major relationship, she was kinda sorta still in hers when we began. They'd dated three-ish years and a wedding was all but a sure thing. I actually ran into him at one point, before she ended it with him in order to date me, and I really did like the guy and that made me feel guilty about us being together. She always said they were on their last leg anyway, and I think we both bought into that so we didn't feel as bad, but in hindsight I don't think it was completely true. Once I got back here, I was back around my ex and the flame between us still burned VERY bright. But she was dealing with some issues and I stood my ground about us not trying again until she worked all that out, given the hell we both went through when we were together and she was refusing help. We remained friends but you could cut the tension with a knife whenever both these chicks were in the same room. Eventually, something had to give and it did when she went back to London and the ex and I started working on some stuff together. It hit us how we still felt about each other and I had to break it off with the other one. She actually took it quite well and we remained friends and when the world came down a few years later, she was really there for me. The problem was I didn't want anyone to be there for men and chose instead to self-medicate. We were on and off so many times over the next couple of years, and I know she loved me but I wasn't in a place where I could handle that. Our last conversation was like ten (?) years ago and it was an ugly one. Since then, I've only heard bits and pieces about her life from her brother, whom Y dated and continues to keep in touch with.
Seeing her again was so unexpected, but in a good way. I didn't realize how long ago we'd dated until we got to talking. Sixteen years is like another life yo. We were just kids. Now, we both have kids. She married six years ago and has two daughters, the oldest of whom looks just like her. I thought she was gonna fall out of her chair when I told her I'm a father now. She said she knew I'd be a great dad someday, but for some reason she still thought of me as the youngin I was back when we dated. We talked about how entwined our lives used to be and how difficult it was to extricate ourselves, with Y dating her brother, her other brother and I becoming fairly close and staying in touch for a few years after it ended, and her mother and step-father also keeping in touch with me for a minute. Remembering all that and then seeing what very different lives we live now is amazing. She's a mother and a wife, two things she always wanted but she's given up her career, something she never thought she'd do. And she's happy with how her life has turned out. I'm a single father and, back then, I never thought I'd be responsible enough to raise a kid without constant supervision. I'm happy with how my life is turning out too. It was awesome to be able to reminisce and talk about old times, knowing how great we're both doing now. For years, feelings of either anger or romance lingered between us, which is why we consciously lost contact. It's one of those relationships where in a different world, or even had it happened at a different time, it probably could've blossomed. Timing is everything, as they say. But I believe we've both ended up where we were always meant to in this life. And I'm glad we've both ended up happy.
Seeing her again was so unexpected, but in a good way. I didn't realize how long ago we'd dated until we got to talking. Sixteen years is like another life yo. We were just kids. Now, we both have kids. She married six years ago and has two daughters, the oldest of whom looks just like her. I thought she was gonna fall out of her chair when I told her I'm a father now. She said she knew I'd be a great dad someday, but for some reason she still thought of me as the youngin I was back when we dated. We talked about how entwined our lives used to be and how difficult it was to extricate ourselves, with Y dating her brother, her other brother and I becoming fairly close and staying in touch for a few years after it ended, and her mother and step-father also keeping in touch with me for a minute. Remembering all that and then seeing what very different lives we live now is amazing. She's a mother and a wife, two things she always wanted but she's given up her career, something she never thought she'd do. And she's happy with how her life has turned out. I'm a single father and, back then, I never thought I'd be responsible enough to raise a kid without constant supervision. I'm happy with how my life is turning out too. It was awesome to be able to reminisce and talk about old times, knowing how great we're both doing now. For years, feelings of either anger or romance lingered between us, which is why we consciously lost contact. It's one of those relationships where in a different world, or even had it happened at a different time, it probably could've blossomed. Timing is everything, as they say. But I believe we've both ended up where we were always meant to in this life. And I'm glad we've both ended up happy.
