I got an interesting voicemail today from someone who pretty much epitomizes the dark ages. It was a short message, just her saying she wanted to know if I would be open to meeting up sometime in the next week to talk. I was totally thrown. If there was one person from my past I never expected to hear from again, it was her. She has every right to be pissed off at me for life and never want to hear my name again. I'm sure she felt that way for awhile too. But now she's moved on to someone else and no longer hates my guts. I called her back tonight and found the reason she's resurfaced is because of a project she's doing in celebration of her 30th birthday. She's attempting to cross 30 things off of her 'before I turn 30' bucket list and it's kind of brilliant. Apparently confronting me about our time together, and some other issues long after, made the list. She says she just wants to clear up some things and I'm totally open to it. I've always felt terrible about the way I treated her and how things ended between us.
The synopsis of our relationship is this: good girl meets bad boy (at the time), both are drawn in by what they've never experienced before, both exit with major regrets. Her regret, I'm sure, was getting involved with me in the first place, especially since her gut told her not to. My regret would not surface until much later when I sobered up and realized what an ass I was towards her. I attempted to apologize as soon as my regrets surfaced but she wasn't having it. I remember telling the doc who helped me get my crap together a story about how she would tell me everything about her day, down to what kind of coffee she'd had that morning. I found it inexplicably annoying and it didn't occur to me until much later that that annoyance should have been my cue to leave, because that's what happens when I've tuned out of something. Every little thing annoys me when I've gone into apathy mode in a relationship, but I had no idea that was my pattern back when she and I were dating. A few years later, she dated one of my best friends. He and I were not on speaking terms at the time and he dated her to spite me, whereas I think she genuinely kinda liked him. They broke up a few weeks (maybe a month) later and I hadn't heard from or about her since.
I'm quite curious to find out what she has to say to me. But I'm also very nervous. Karma kicks all of our asses at some point and it would be fitting if it sent her back to kick my ass herself.
