How Do You Figure A Last Year On Earth?

As you may have heard, there's a blizzard here in the Northeast U.S. of A. It's kind of a good thing because I'm still trying to lick this cold (going on about three weeks now) and need the rest. It's also good because my friends and I have decided to be snowed in together. And it's a bad thing. Why? Because my friends and I have decided to be snowed in together. I wrote half of this post a few nights ago while I was feeling really down and depressed. I'd intended to post it yesterday, but now it requires some updating. My friends and I have done these lock-ins during various natural disasters and they usually go fantastically well. We watch movies and TV shows, we play games, we sing bad karaoke, it's fun for all. This time was looking to be the same, until this morning. There's a sort of uncomfortableness between some of us because we don't all accept E's decision and it exploded today. All of us in our little group are very close but, as with any group of friends, some are even closer than that. E and G are the best friends each of them have ever had. They bicker like an old married couple and live to torment each other over little things, but they also love each other and G has not been handling the cancer diagnosis well. He hasn't been handling it at all, really. When he first heard about it, he got so worked up that he nearly had to go to the ER. But since then he's been in some kind of denial, and we all knew once he came out of it, things would not be pretty. Out of the blue, G went off on E about not getting treatment and how stupid it was and E just let him vent. Eventually, the two of them patched things up and talked them out and E says he'll reconsider treatment. I hope he does. We're all stressed about this but I know it's worse for the two of them. I cannot fathom losing my best friend, and at such a young age. On that note, I'll leave the original post to explain everything going on. If you're in the path of this storm, stay safe and warm. If you're anywhere else, damn you and your good weather!
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It is often said that people come into your life for a reason. And I'm a firm believer of that. Some people are meant to be in your life for the long haul, while others are not. Some people fuck you over, while others love you unconditionally, even at your worst. Some people are terrible human beings, whille others are incredible. Unfortunately, the bad stuff seems to happen to the more amazing people. And that SUCKS. My friend E is one of those amazing people. He is a beautiful human being who has known far too much tragedy in his 35 years. He lost his father to cancer at a very young age and lost his fiancé to violence. Our paths crossed a few years later and it was the beginning of an amazing friendship, and not just between us. That same year we both met G and the three of us, plus my best friend and two other high school friends, formed an incredible bond. These people are my best friends and we've supported each other through some awful times. We've also shared in some great ones, and I'm very thankful for that. I truly do not know what I would do without a single one of them. However, it seems as though I will have to learn to live without E. and I don't know how to handle that.
Not long after we became friends, E was diagnosed with cancer. I still remember the shock of it. He was only in his mid-20's and was a very active guy so the diagnosis hit everyone hard. It was not lost on any of us that the very same disease had taken his father a few decades earlier, and that made things especially scary. But the doctors caught it very early on so his prognosis was good. Treatment was a bitch since he still needed chemo but we all took turns going with him to his appointments and cheering him up on the bad days. He ended up beating it and we had a big old party when he got a clean bill of health. For the next couple of years we were all paranoid about it recurring but he stayed healthy. As the years have gone by, we've kind of forgotten about it. But we got our asses slapped back to reality when E told us that he had gone to the doctor and they feared a recurrence of the cancer. He continued on, saying he'd been having symptoms for months but "didn't think anything of it". Hearing that in that moment made me furious because he knows the signs of illness and should've sought out a doctor sooner. But then, I'm the same way when it comes to medical issues so I can't fault him for something I also probably would have done. We were all shocked but waited for the official diagnosis. And hearing that it was officially back was as unreal as it'd been the first time. The news was worse this time though, the cancer was advanced and the prognosis was awful. He also made the decision to not seek treatment. And I couldn't handle it. I completely broke down in every way possible. An awful prognosis means a harder fight but choosing not to seek treatment means...game over. We were all so pissed off. But at the end of the day it is his decision. He says he would rather live mostly healthy than spend this time sick and in treatment. On one hand I get it, I was ready to meet my maker a decade ago and would have willingly gone into the light. But on the other hand, he has so much to live for. He's so full of life and so happy that I can't understand his decision at all. But I do have to accept it.
I have no idea what this year will bring when it comes to E's health. So far he's doing well and not all that sick, which I sometimes think is a bad thing. If he were sick then maybe he'd choose to get treatment and maybe he would be around longer. As long as he's not sick, he can live in that ignorance is bliss phase. I don't think any of us have fully absorbed what's going to happen. We'll often say stupid things like, "We should do that someday," before it hits us that the somedays are numbered. It's crazy to think about. We all talk about things we want to do someday and never even consider that our time here will expire before those things happen. E has always wanted to get married and have kids, that is his biggest dream. And just like that, it's over. It's not fair. But life isn't fair. Sometimes even I forget he's sick and go into my own ignorant bliss. But those times when I remember what's happening inside him...those times kill. Those are the times I remember there's one giant, ticking clock hanging over all of us. Eventually, should he continue to refuse treatment, he will get sick. Then he will get sicker. And after that...who knows. I do respect his decision not to get treatment but I still try to talk him into it everyday. The sooner, the better. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like that will happen. So for now, we wait. We go about our lives as if everything's the same and try not to dwell on this black cloud hovering above. We talk about trips we should take this year but stop short of reminding each other why there should be some urgency in planning them. Everything's the same, but everything has changed. It's an odd feeling. For that reason, this may be one of my only posts on E's situation. I don't like to think about it and I know he doesn't want to read about it. But I needed to get something down. Here's to hoping for the best. And preparing for the absolute worst.