What's The Mater?

I don't like this blog to be a downer for too long (we had enough of that when it first began), so let's lighten things back up a little. I don't know what my problem is but the past two days or so I have had major issues with autocorrect. Most of them centering on a certain... appendage. (Note: Paul is the imaginary friend one of my friends and I made up in order to torment another friend.)

Friend: Yep, tis my mater for you
Me: ...Mater?
Friend: Fancy foreign word for Mother
Me: Nm I just used my dick and I know what that means now
Me: DICTIONARY
Friend: LOL! You'd better not've used your dick to discover my mater!
Me: LOL I swear it's not what you think, baby! I fell!
Friend: LOL Oh sure, next thing you're gonna say that it wasn't you
Me: It wasn't me! It was Paul in a costume! She seduced me!
Me: Paul....she seduced PAUL
Friend: LOL I can't breathe

Friend: Lol How the hell do we get into such shenanigans so early on in the day?
Me: Lol we're gifted