I'll Paint Your Wagon!

Sometime ago, a friend got so upset with me that she said she was going to paint my wagon. The expression caught on and is now used whenever anyone wants to issue a threat to someone else. It was used again today and resulted in hilariousness.

Friend: *paints wagon*
Me: *wagon looks at itself in the mirror and says, 'Who's spackled up like a pretty whore? You are, baby!'*
Friend: LOL I fuckin' love you

Also, my brother-in-law is looking for someone to go to a basketball game with now that my cousin, his game buddy, is out of town for awhile. My mom suggested he take someone who isn't a huge basketball fan and see if he could convert them. But he reminded us all of the time he took me to a game under similar circumstances. No one else could go with him so I did. That night still haunts the both of us apparently.

Bro-In-Law: Yeah I'll take someone who doesn't like bball. Cuz I'm down for another night of horror.
Me: It wasn't that bad
BIL: LOL Ok...let's see...first you complained about us having to park so far away, then you complained about the price of a soda.
Me: Well it was ridiculous!
BIL: But wait there's more!
BIL: Then I had to hear, 'Why are they stopping again?' every single time there was a stoppage.
BIL: Followed by repeated, "Can we leave yet?" comments
BIL: It was like being at a game with a 6-year-old who has ADD.
BIL: "I want nachos", "I'm tired", "I'm bored"
Sister: LOL Wow
Me: lol Well I was
Sister: Why did you leave early again? Because of the complaints?
BIL: No. We left because someone said, "Who's that white guy on the court?". And he did not use his inside voice.
Me: LOL That was awesome, I forgot about that
Me: I guess that's your excuse for not getting ice cream on the way home. Because I "embarrassed" you.
BIL: lol Damn right. I wasn't gonna swing by Baskin & Robbins after you made me have to apologize to a bunch of white folks on the way out of the arena