A Swift Backhand(ed) Compliment

Conversation over breakfast this morning:

Sister: "Oh! Guess who's coming to speak to my class next week."
Me: "Who?"
Sister: [My ex-girlfriend]
Me: "Oh really? She'll probably be good at that."
Sister: "I think so. You know, your manwhore days really turned out to be good for me. Most people take years to develop these kind of contacts. All it cost you was some charm, your body, and your self-respect."
Me: ..."Um...thanks?"

LOL. My god, I love my family. Especially when they validate my manwhorishness.


=======

And later in the day...


Friend: Mom's brilliant. She took a hot dog bun, put a banana in it and peanut butter on top
Me: ...Huh. That doesn't sound too bad actually
Friend: It is tasty. I don't like bananas, but with peanut butter, I'm all over it
Me: I'd put honey, then banana then PB
Friend: Leave it to you to take something and improve it to the point where it sounds sexy as fuck.
Me: LOL. Bc PB and banana was lacking until the honey came in

Me: How are you feeling? Besides so horny that a PB sandwich sounds sexy
Friend: As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Me: I take a look at my plate and see half my sandwich left
Friend: LOL. 
Friend: Cuz I've been eatin and drinkin so long that even my mama thinks my appetite's gone