One Margarita...Two Margarita...Three Margarita...Floor (Or In My Case, A Car With A Midget)

Oh what a night. My cousins and G decided we should all go out last night. We could not have foreseen the awesomeness that would occur. G is a bit of a margarita conisseuir and recently discovered one that's a cross between a traditional margarita and a tequila sunrise. I agreed to try one. Aaaaand that is where the night took a turn. I know I'm a lightweight anymore so I nursed my one drink for hours. Everyone else drank them like they'd just been through the desert on a horse with no name. And whilst we were all a little durnk, as usual it was I who was in rare form. The kinda form that makes you wake up thinking, "I have no idea what the fuck I did last night but dammit I had fun". And I spread the wealth, as you'll see later. Back when we were all sober, a woman we'll call L (names have been changed to protect the stupid). She walked up to us and asked my cousin (G's wife) all these flirty questions. Then she asked if her boobs were real and felt her up. G obviously enjoyed this immensely and in his excitement ordered another round and invited our new lesbian friend to join us. She agreed but only if she could bring her friend, who was a little person. Shortly thereafter, karaoke began. And it all became a blur from there. What I do know is that I was giving play by play to friends, although one of those conversations stands out a lot more than the others just because of the sure ridiculousness (highlights below). The night ended at 3 (maybe 4) when our designated driver, the midget, took everyone home....then hit on me...that was certainly a first. But dammit, what a fun night we had. And with that, I am off to recover by the pool.

Aaaaaaaaand the morning after...