One of the best things about the holidays for me is being with all of my family and getting to just talk and hang out. I love my family. They are the most wonderful, open, loving bunch of goofs you could ever hope to meet. They pretty much adopt anyone my siblings, cousins and I bring around, be it a significant other or friends. The only downside to my family (on a good day anyway) is that there are so many of them that it's hard to keep up with everybody. It's become an even bigger battle to try and stay close as my generation has grown up. I come from a family whose DNA seems to be biased towards girls. My mom's generation had 14 girls vs. 4 boys, mine has 12 girls vs. 7 boys but two of those boys didn't come into the fold until high school so us 5 boys were basically easy prey for the girls during our childhood. (Being around so many women comes in handy now but we didn't much like it then). My daughter's generation is about even at 8 girls vs. 7 boys but not even half of my cousins have had kids yet so that number could still tilt either way.
By the time my mom and co. were my age, they were all married and/or had kids. The great irony here is that, because few of them went to college higher education for me and my peeps was non-negotiable. College usually takes you into your early or mid-20's, a time when few folks are thinking about a ring and a house full of kids, especially in that kind of atmosphere. So now we all have college degrees but we're also behind the so-called curve of making our parents grandparents. Of course another part of the reason for the delay is that times have changed from when my mom was my age. People are waiting longer to start families now, waiting until their careers are solid. People are waiting on 'The One' who is seemingly taking forever to get here. My generation (sans me) is great at long-term relationships but we haven't had a lot of weddings. Some of us just don't believe in marriage, much to the chagrin of our elders. But I've noticed the girls in our family seem to get more leeway on the wedding biz. If one of them were to elope there would be a minor ripple in the family waters. One of the boys does the same thing and it's a rogue wave. Back when marriage was still a real possibility for me I was totally on board with eloping but couldn't shake the thought of my mom's hands around my neck when she found out I'd done it. One of my cousins proposed to and married his lady on the same night which I guess counts as an elopement. But they couldn't figure out how to tell his parents so they just didn't. In fact, everyone on her side knew and everyone except our elders on our side knew until a few months ago when his brother let it slip and their mother had a cow (btw, Happy 8th Anniversary you crazy kids!).
Now sensing that there may not be many weddings to come from my problematic generation, the elders are hanging on to every walk down the aisle they can get. So my youngest cousin's wedding in two weeks is the hottest topic at this time. But it's not just about her wedding. It's also, "When are you gonna get married?" for my sister and her man of 12 years and my cousin and his on/off girlfriend of 7 years and, "When are you gonna have [more] kids?" for; me, my aforementioned eloped cousin, my soon-to-be-newlywed cousin, and my brother. (Why I am included in that since I am not married or close, not to mention unable to produce a baby on my own, I don't know). The funny thing is that those questions seem to be prompting actual thought amongst us, rather than just being brushed off. The Non-Marrieds are asking the Til Deaths about how marriage really is and the Til Deaths are asking the Non-Marrieds if parenthood is as scary as advertised. It could just be cuz of the season but I'm kinda sensing that 2011 could be filled with new babies and maybe even one or two strolls down the aisle. That'll result in even more people to keep track of. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
