Zombie Banter

I don't know how I feel about situations taking place right now. Or maybe I know exactly how I feel and I'm concerned about it so I'm trying to deny it. It's also very possible I'm just an idiot. I'm also exhausted (hence the post title), so I guess that could have something to do with my current state. I don't know...it's wrong, it's right...it's nothing, it's something...but then I get wrapped up in the details and I back away. Then I think of how it makes me feel and I work myself up and move in again. Then I'm reminded of things that complicate it that are beyond my control and I get bummed out. I start to think about the possibilities but stop myself from getting too far ahead. I guess I'm stuck on the line between this insane curiosity I have about it and the reservations I have about it. And whenever I start to make some progress, whichever side was losing the fight swoops in and pulls me right back to the line. And so on the line I stay. And it's annoying. And I don't know how to fix it or change it. Hard to explain. So I guess it all comes back down to feelings. And I'm either too afraid to deal with those cuz I'm not sure it's even possible to feel what I might or...? That is the big question. Maybe I should get some sleep and then re-examine things.