Hopefully everybody has someone in their life whom they look up to and aspire to be like. I'm not talking about idolizing a celebrity just because they're famous. I mean people who are seriously deserving of the title 'Hero'. Like someone who devotes themselves entirely to making the world a better place and expects nothing in return, truly selfless people (think Gandhi and Mother Teresa). They don't always have to be known the world over for what they've done, my heroes aren't. They haven't cured any diseases or stopped civil war. They're more like everyday heroes, people who chose to do the right thing when the wrong one would've been far easier.
My great grandfather was born into a family of twelve kids who all began working on the family farm while they were still kids. He worked as a cook (and a damn good one) throughout his twenties before a construction job moved him from his home state. Shortly after this move he met my great grandmother, a single mother eight years his senior with three kids at a time when that still carried a huge stigma. She was going through a hellish divorce from an drunk and abusive man who had left her no other choice but to flee to California in order to get away from him. She'd had to leave the kids behind while she sorted herself out and would write them letters explaining the situation as best she could and also send money for their care. As soon as the divorce was final she returned to the state to find that her now ex-husband had not given the kids any of her letters and had used the money for himself. He had told them their mother had abandoned them and was never coming back so all three kids were understandably very upset when she came back seemingly as if nothing had happened. Still, inside of all this, my gramps fell for her and her kids and he brought a kind of stability to the situation and showed her what a functional, loving marriage was. He's helped raise three generations of kids (he's a great, great grandpa now), two generations of which would have seriously tested the patience of lesser men. My great grandparents were married 52 years before grandma passed away. He took care of her from the day they met until the day she died. She would make smart ass remarks towards him or call him a jackass for no reason while watching one of the many telenovelas they loved so much, but he'd always just smile and make a comment about what a firecracker she was. I idolize this man because he is just pure, unconditional love. He's smart and funny and had such belief in his relationship with the woman he loved and totally devoted himself to being a family man, even though it wasn't in the way he probably expected. I'm beyond thrilled that my daughter gets to interact with him on a regular basis.
My grandma was one of the victims of my biological great grandfather's mind games brought on by the divorce. She held resentment for her mother for a long time but they found a way to get along and have some kind of relationship. My grandma is one of those people who made a better grandparent than she was parent, although I know she struggled to raise her seven kids on her own after her husband was killed in his early 30's. I think her mom drama played a huge part in her being a decent but not necessarily good parent to her own kids. She was thrilled when she started having grand kids and, though she disliked our father, even more excited that my mom was bringing a new baby into the household. That new baby turned into three babies within a two year period, all of whom would spend their days at home with grandma while mom was at work. But she knew how to reel us in and keep us entertained and she enjoyed every minute of it. All three of us were especially close to her because of the close living quarters, but none more than my little brother. She'd always had health problems and passed away unexpectedly when I was about 9 and I can remember being in the hospital and hearing she was gone and feeling nothing. I mean, absolutely nothing. It was the strangest feeling I've ever felt to this day. I remember having all these plans of going to college and how proud she was gonna be because of that since no one had every finished that level of education in our family. She was an amazing grandma to have.
My mom and uncle had to find a way to make things work in our house after my grandma died. We weren't old enough to be alone while they worked so we were passed around between family members or, more often, after school care programs of some sort. A year later the aunt who had walked the halls of the hospital with me making sure I was alright just hours after she'd lost her own mother, left her abusive husband and moved into our house with her two kids. Now our household had expanded to six kids and three adults and it was probably way too crowded for the adults but the kids loved it. Everyone got along so well. All three of them committed themselves to raising these kids and making sure they were happy and healthy and had everything they needed. My mom dated some and actually became engaged at one point but it didn't work out. My aunt and uncle rarely dated, they say because they didn't want to break up us kids if someone met somebody and decided to move out. It was a non-traditional family in a lot of ways but it was all we knew. So many parents put what they want before their kids, even while claiming that they're all about their kids. My mom, aunt and uncle were completely selfless in choosing to devote themselves to us. I think it takes kids a long time to really appreciate their parents and what they did for them growing up, some don't fully grasp it until they become parents themselves. But I always kinda knew how rare mine were as people. Yes, there were some times in high school (actually more in junior high) where I was embarrassed by something they did. But I can remember having a pretty long leash as teenagers whereas my peers seemed to be held much closer by their parents. My mom, aunt and uncle are still overprotective and opinionated about certain things in our lives. But I know it's all because they love us and are always gonna think they still know best. I'm sure it's gonna be the same kinda thing for me when mine is an adult. I hope my mom, aunt, great gramps and uncle are all around for a long time to come to watch her grow up so she can bask in their awesomeness and learn what it really means to love unconditionally.
