The sister, bro-in-law, best friend and I were all discussing parenthood today. Specifically, we were talking about the difference between how we all thought we were going to parent versus how we actually are parenting. Before you have kids, you have all these silly little visions in your head of how you won't let them do this or you'll make them do that. But once you do have them, do you know what your attitude becomes? "Screw it". Yep. (Could also be 'F*** it', but I'm attempting to curse less these days.) Once you actually have that kid everything changes. You get no sleep, you get no time to yourself and you get unsolicited advice from total strangers on how to better control your kid. In the beginning, usually with your first child, you attempt to do everything as "perfectly" as you can before realizing there is no such thing. By the second kid, you give absolutely no f***s when it comes to certain things. Hell, I let Miss N have an ice cream sundae for dinner the other night. I was too exhausted to cook, too lazy to go out and she's been on an ice cream trip of late so I let her have at it. While non-parents might call this 'giving up', I call it a damn good way to split the difference. Miss N was happy, I didn't have to get off the couch and we both passed out by 9. Good times all around, I say.
I was around my sibling's kids for years before Miss N came into the picture so, fortunately, she wasn't like a first kid for me. I was well versed in the sleepless nights and constant supervision that little ones need. That may be why she's so laid back these days, because nobody panicked about every little thing when she was smaller. A cold is a cold, you know how to manage an ear infection and even when she has needed to go to the doctor I've been able to tell how bad it really is. For me, that part of parenting has been auto-pilot. Some of the day to day stuff is what tends to trip me up. Some days it is just not worth the fight to get her to do something. Some days, "I don't wanna clean my room" results in, "Ok, then don't". Some days she cranks the dial up to 'holy terror' and is hell on wheels from sun up to sundown (she's gonna make some fella happy someday with all that attitude, I'm sure). And some days we have ice cream for dinner or soda for breakfast. Parenthood is weird that way. But I really can't remember the time before she came into my life. What did I do in the mornings instead of make her breakfast? What did I waste my time with instead of reading her stories before bed? Did I build awesome forts and make indoor s'mores with someone else before she and I were together? I don't even know. I've been in love with this little lady from the start. I know I won't be a perfect parent, she'll be in therapy for something or another someday, but I'll do the best I can and the two of us will manage to have fun along the way. I'm not one of those people who wants to be their kid's friend, I dish out the discipline when I have to, but I'm not super strict either. And hey, she's still alive so I must be doing something right. It's interesting how the most difficult job in the world is the only one that doesn't come with an instruction manual.
