I've heard from two ex-girlfriends in the past week. I keep in occasional contact with some of my exes but it's rather sporadic. Usually I just get a text or an email when something major happens or I send a text when I hear something bad happened. So to hear from two in one week is...interesting.
Ex number one and I were set up by a mutual friend who tried to get us together for years. I was always busy manwhoring and she was always busy traveling. But the stars aligned (or rather, out mutual friend made them align) and we were both lured to the same bar on the same night. Admittedly, I wasn't completely taken in the first night. But we did have a lot in common and dated casually for awhile. It started to get serious but I wasn't really in a place for that. We lingered for awhile before she proposed the idea if an open relationship. I should've been all for it since I wasn't fit to commit, but I declined and eventually she ended it (not just because of that). We weren't friends for awhile after but have since found some sort of happy medium. She is apparently considering having a baby and, since she isn't in a relationship right now, she wanted to know if I would...uh...help her out with that. I think the conversation went something like;
Her: "I'm thinking of having a baby."
Me: "Wow, congrats!"
Her: "I'm single though..."
Me: "Then..."
[moment of clarity]
Me: "Oh..."
I declined but I think she was only half-serious anyway. Definitely unexpected though.
Ex number two and I have had a long, winding road together. We were also set up on a blind date but it was very different from the date with ex number one. I was enamored from the start. And I stayed that way the entire relationship. But she wasn't ready for what we were becoming. Things became even more complicated near the end and she decided to leave. My heart's been broken a handful of times and that definitely ranks high on the list in terms of pain. I did not want it to end. But I knew it was probably for the best. We've since dipped in and out of each other's lives, sometimes as lovers but mostly as friends. She ended the lovers part of the equation (again) quite awhile ago because she didn't want to keep me from "other things" (her words, not mine). We've come close to severing all ties a few times but have never actually gone through with it. At the end of the day, I think she likes knowing that she can call if something really shakes her up. On this day she called to ask for some references for a project she's about to start. After we hung up, I got to thinking about the real reason she decided to call us off. I'm not convinced it was just because she wasn't ready. I think she was definitely scared about the sparks flying and all that but she also wondered what else was out there. Five-ish years later, she's still single. Her pattern has always been to date until she gets bored and then be single for awhile. She doesn't talk to me about her personal life obviously, but we have friends in common and every now and then I hear what she's up to. It's funny though, I guess that whole 'goes around comes around' thing is true. Ex number one and I had a convo awhile after we broke up where I basically asked her why she thought we didn't make it and she said she felt like I was still on the lookout for something better. Then, ex number two is on the lookout for something more and I get left behind. Some of that is just the nature of humans, always waiting for something more or what they consider to be better.
