After Star Wars rocked my world, I needed a drink. Whilst out on the town with my peeps, we got to talking about relationships and how some of us have learned we're not as bad at them as we once thought. Maybe it's maturity, who knows. But DMC made an interesting comment about how he knew it was time to call off his first engagement. This was eons ago and they'd dated for about six years before getting engaged. They halfway started planning a wedding but something else always took priority so they put marriage on the back burner. Then, seemingly out of the blue, they called the whole thing off and went their separate ways. DMC isn't the feelings-y type so few of us ever got the full story of what happened until last night. He said they'd started living separate lives some months prior to the split, but the realization that it was over came during an argument. She had lunch with an ex and then came home and picked a fight with DMC about it. When he didn't take the bait, she said maybe next time she'd do more than have lunch with the dude and DMC said, "Alright" and walked away. Of course this infuriated her, but he didn't care because he'd realized it didn't bother him to think of her with some other dude. That's how he knew it was time to call it a day. And he did, and she did end up dating that ex for years, which didn't surprise DMC, but it did make him feel some jealousy for a minute. You don't love someone for seven years and not get a little hurt when they move on.
Rarely do I call anyone in my family wise without using the word "ass" in quick succession, but DMC earned a cookie for his brief moment of wisdom. People would leave bad or dying relationships a lot sooner if they stopped and thought, "How would I feel if this person weren't mine? ". If the answer is, "Meh," then it's time to call it a day. I was a mess when my ex-fiancée officially took up with the dude she'd cheated with, but looking back I was more hurt by the circumstances of it. Thinking of her with him didn't provoke any strong feelings of, "I wish that were me with her". I was pissed that she'd moved on first and got to be happy after having screwed me over. But I didn't care who she was banging. Karma was gonna take care of that mess (and it kinda has, I saw a photo of her recently and she's aging terribly #DodgedABullet). I'm not a jealous person but I was jealous of the way it all went down back then. In fact, thinking back on all my exes now, there are only a few I would say I could feel some jealousy about. Not enough to try and get them back, mind you. But if I'd stopped to think about how I'd feel if they weren't mine back when they were mine, it would've made me insane. And it probably would've increased my fight in those relationships, making me do whatever it took to hold onto them. They were no doubt great women. But everything for a reason and obviously we weren't meant to be for the long haul.
