BF: *sigh* I think I fucked up something and I need to vent.
Me: Talk my ear off, gurl.
BF: You, me and food tonight.
Me: ...This is only gonna take like an hour or so, right?
BF: I don't know, why? Why are you trying to time limit my pain?
Me: I'm not! Just asking.
BF: ...What's her name? lol
Me: I know not what you speak of.
BF: Uh huh. Well, whoever she is, I hope she's worth losing your first wife of 34 years!
Me: Oh Y, that's silly. Of course she is.
BF: LOL. Ass. You serenaded me with NKOTB last weekend! You promised to love me! Now you're ditching me for another woman.
Me: Baby, it's not like that! I just sang to you so you would buy me food!
BF: I never said I was buying you food.
Me: Well in that case, sorry, I'm busy tonight.
BF: LOL. Okay fine, I'll buy the food and you'll be outta there before dark. But you remember how accommodating your wife was when you leave her for someone who puts out.
Me: lol My wife does put out. Like a lot. A LOT. I'm just not interested.
BF: Fuck you for the caps lol. We really do sound like an old married couple.
Now this is the kinda marriage I could get behind!
