Her: I like your new FB picture
Her: I...saved it to my phone like a stalker
Me: LOL I love the shamelessness in your confession
Her: Helloooooo new photo ID pic
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G: You lookin' all GQ in your new Facebook photo
Me: lol Yes G, I'm all kindsa GQ in a t-shirt
G: Mi madre gustos tu ojos
Me: Is your mom hitting on me?
G: lol Well, she is single now
Me: Tell your mom I said, "Hey girl" and then winked
G: LOL Heeeeellllllll NO, old timer
Me: Don't talk to your step-daddy that way, son!
G: My step-daddy is dead. Tragic accident.
Me: No, I'm not. I'm...oh.
G: lol He always was a slow man.
Me: LOL I want a step-daddy who's a slowww man, I want a step-daddy who don't think too much
G: LMAO. You win at life, my friend.
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Cousin 1: "He's gonna do her wrong, right?"
Cousin 2 (just out of a break-up): "Probably. He's a man."
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My niece and I have been slowly making our way through a painting project involving Van Gogh. I'm less than thrilled with my progress and said I didn't want to finish my painting.
Bro-In-Law: "So you're just not gonna finish it? What is that teaching the kids?"
Me: "That when things get too difficult, you give up."
Me: "You good with that?"
Niece: "Yep."
(Not surprisingly, I'm finishing the painting.)
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Me: Nah, she just wanted to bounce some ideas off me.
Best Friend: Well, you're good for advice
Best Friend: Which is ironic, since you never take any lol
Me: lol Well, those who can't, advise.
Best Friend: You CAN, you just DON'T.
Best Friend: You're that kid that when someone says, 'don't touch that, it's hot', you touch it anyway and then you're shocked you get burned.
Me: That analogy...sums up my entire life
Best Friend: LOL I just realized the same thing
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Me: "I think your blonde roots are showing...oh wait, your whole head is blonde now."
Best Friend: "Excuse me, I was blonde when I met you, sir."
Me: "Nah, I don't remember that."
Best Friend: "I do. I was the good looking blonde in incubator A and you were the lady killer with blue eyes and dark monkey hair in incubator B."
Me: "I did not have monkey hair!"
Best Friend: "Only on your back."
Me: "You know, it'd be shame if someone snatched your blonde weave right now."
Best Friend: "Bring it, monkey boy!"
Mom: "I will pull this car over, [BF's full name, followed by my full name]"
Some things never change yo.
