Usually two post days are bad days but my god, today has been filled with so much hilarity that my side hurts from laughing about it all. I just...I have no words for what we just witnessed. Some of the fam and I were eating a late lunch and decided to go through the DVR and catch up on some TV. I am an Investigation Discovery channel addict and have been almost from the minute the network launched a few years ago. There's something for everyone; shows about evil twins, shows about evil non-twins, spouses killing each other, private investigators, redneck murders, family murders. I don't tend to watch one of ID's more 'meh' shows entitled "Redrum" (love the title though as it's from my favorite movie). The show follows a crime from end to beginning, much like detectives have to do when investigating any crime. I like the show but not enough to tune in regularly, plus it's only a half hour long and they take too many commercials during their shorter shows. But "Redrum" is what the cousin wanted to watch and so we did. And I am ever so happy that we did because this half hour contained the most hilarious story I have ever seen (it's unfortunate that it actually happened and someone lost their life).
The show begins with a hooded man wielding a gun knocking on the door in a suburban neighborhood as the neighbors look on. The door opens and the man follows the occupant of the house up the stairs and fires at him. The victim jumps out a window and the gunman follows, firing two more shots before fleeing the scene. Neighbors rush to the victim and call 911 and the guy is pronounced dead. The gunman goes home, removes the remaining ammunition from his gun and calls the police to turn himself in, however his crisis of conscience seems to have passed by the time they arrive as he now denies having shot anybody. He pleads not guilty to the charge but is eventually convicted and sentenced to life in prison. What prompted all of this, you ask? What else? Marital discord. The man's wife began having an affair with a much younger man that involved S&M and role playing. He sent her messages saying what he wanted her to wear, what role to play and what he was going to do to her and they had their fun for about a year before she tired of him and broke it off. In one of their...encounters, he wants her to play a stranded motorist that he happens upon and takes advantage of and calls her shortly before he arrives to say, I kid you not, "And don't forget the cream-filled cakes bitch. I want them in the front seat when I pull up.". For a minute, I had to make sure this wasn't my life story as you know how fond of cake I am. Sure enough, the two of them get it on in the car and then sit in the front seat and eat some Twinkies. It was...bizarre. But just when I though that would be the best part of the show, things got even better. The wife broke off the affair, but for some boneheaded reason she'd printed out their emails (I assume so she could read them while she ate Twinkies) and her husband found them. The husband is reading all of this sexual stuff they did/want to do to each other but shit gets real when he reads and recites out loud, "And don't forget my cream-filled cakes bitch". No sooner does the sentence leave his mouth that he looks up at her and he says to her, he says, "You brazen bitch!" with such gusto that I thought dude was gonna go postal right there and then. And then he decides to kill the younger man who ate delicious snack cakes with his wife.
I mean...WOW. Just wow. I can't decide what was better, that someone needed to know they were getting a snack after the sex in order to get off, or that someone found the snack to be more offensive than the sex that took place. Also, how on earth did ID allow this to become a comedy? I'm thankful they did, but it's like whoever is supposed to direct this ish phoned it in and no one in post-production gave a damn that the scenes were funny. It's not like the Twinkies were an integral part of the murder or anything. Or maybe they were, the husband did seem quite upset about the cake and sort of 'oh well' about the sex. Even I can't imagine getting that upset over cake of any kind, and I love cake. But hey, I guess we all react in different ways when we find out our wife bought cake for another man while doing the weekly household grocery shopping. I'm surprised this has not yet been a Lifetime movie, it has all of the hallmarks of one; betrayal, kinky cake sex, murder, the suburbs. Let's cast Tori Spelling, partner up with Hostess and get this mother made already. Thank you ID. You so enrich my life with this kind of programming.
