The other night, my mom, Y and myself all went to see Fleetwood Mac (the original lineup, thank you very much) in concert at MSG. This is maybe the fourth or fifth time my mom has visited me since I've lived here because she's not crazy about this city. She's previously said the only reason she'd come back is if it were for my wedding or the birth of another child, but I didn't even get halfway through the sentence, "I have Fleetwood Mac tickets" before she started booking a flight. Little did I know, the whole thing would come back to bite me in the ass on two fronts.
The guy next to us at the concert was supposed to be there with his daughter, but she had to back out the day before because of a business trip and he couldn't find anyone else to go, so he sold the second ticket and went by himself. (There were a lot of other parent/grown child combos there, which was awesome). He struck up a conversation with us before the show, during which my mom wanted to know how old his daughter was and if she was single, and he assumed Y and I were both mom's biological kids and also assumed that Y was older than me and that I was about ten years younger than I actually am (all of these assumptions based on sight). This infuriated Y, to the point where even a day later I was dealing with comments like...
Me: Well, I thought he was a nice guy.
Y: You would. "Oh, you think I'm only 24? You wanna have some sex?"
Me: LOL. I did not proposition him, ma'am. You're just bitter because he thinks you're an old cat lady.
Y: LOL Fuck you. I'm engaged and I have a child! Nobody wants to marry you!
Me: I'm gonna marry that dude's daughter before the holidays just to spite you.
Y: lol See, now I believe you'd marry out of spite.
The debate between us continued to rage into today when she decided to fire shots in the form of a VERY old picture of me in which I have, shall we say, questionable facial hair. It's war now, yo. WAR!
