What would you do if you woke up to find a number of missed calls placed late at night from somebody you love? You'd probably call them back to make sure everything was okay, right? In a time where texts are like handshakes, calls can sometimes be a way of conveying something more serious is going on. As my mom says, late night calls rarely bring good news. This is something I went through a lot (A LOT, A LOT) with BP. If I called her and didn't have a damn good reason for doing so, as in leaving a voicemail stating why I was calling or texting beforehand to say why, she didn't bother to return a single message. Sometimes even when I did say what my reason was, and even if it was something like a medical emergency, she still did nothing and later tried to justify it with, "Well, I didn't know what you wanted and I was busy," or, "Well, I didn't want to fight so I just didn't say anything to you". BP's motto was to ignore ish until it went away. And that's essentially what she did to me and why I did go away in the end. Somehow, "I love you" doesn't have the same emotional punch when the person saying it can't be bothered to return a damn message. And that's the boat Agent W found herself in this morning after a not so great night. She was locked out of her house and texted the boyfriend to inquire about staying at his place. No answer. Three calls at one in the morning and still no answer. Fortunately, she was able to crash at her BFF's place, but today things took yet another turn with the boyfriend.
After a long talk, Agent W and the boyfriend decided to fix the issues that had supposedly caused him to go out with another woman and, if that were to fail, they agreed to break up. Well, they didn't even make it that far. This morning, they exchanged texts about the situation. He knew she was fine, knew of her evening, but still never actually called to talk about it and that understandably chapped her ass. He said he didn't hear the phone the night before, but offered no explanation as to why three missed calls at one in the morning, from someone who never calls that late unless she's in need, didn't prompt him to call her back. She flat out gave him damn directions during today's texts, saying it was one of the few times she'd rather he call her instead of text to see what was up. He still did not call. Instead, he tried to defend himself by saying she hadn't told him why she was calling and never asked if she could stay with him. She said that didn't matter, that the late night calls should've been enough to alert him to the fact that something was up. Then he offers up, "Don't be hostile. I apologized.". As I learned firsthand from the BP debacle, apologies mean absolutely nothing if the behavior itself is not corrected. Much like BP, all this fool had to do was make a damn phone call to the person who should be one of the most important in his life. And it especially annoyed me to hear all of this because dude was already majorly in the doghouse but certainly wasn't behaving as if he was trying to keep Agent W in his life.
It's no secret that I'm no fan of this guy, I never have been but I've been a supportive friend because it's not like I was the one dating him. I'd have been out the door and down the block a year ago after the first other woman fiasco if I were Agent W. But then, I give up on my romantic relationships quite easily so I'm not the best gauge of when to leave. Still, as she was telling me all that had happened, I couldn't help but ask if today put the whole trying again thing in perspective and she said it had. I thought about it some more and offered up this - How many times have either of us gotten late night messages from the other about something serious and stopped whatever we were doing to talk it through? Neither of us are late night texters unless ish really hits the fan, and I'd venture to guess all of our loved ones are aware of this. And that's two people who are friends doing this stuff, not even two people who are lovers. The ultimate question being, "Why would you settle for less than that from a partner?". She'd drop my ass in a heartbeat if I was an apathetic and seemingly uncaring friend, so there's absolutely no reason to take that ish from someone you're dating. I knew she knew all this but felt it needed to be repeated. Twenty minutes later, she responded and said she'd ended the relationship altogether. I was surprised, especially that it had happened so quickly. But I could sort of feel how upset she was about it all, so it was probably the right move to end it. It'll hurt like a bitch for awhile but she's better off. And I'm proud of her for not taking his ish anymore.
