Sister: So crazy aunt brought around her new boy toy today. Guess how old he is! Guess!
Me: 64 but with the heart and libido of a 60 year old.
Sister: Younger. Think mom's age.
Me: 52?!
Sister: Ok, mom is 53. And the boy toy is 45.
Me: Oh...my...
Yes, you read that right, I said, 'oh my'. Partially because that's what I say when I'm shocked beyond reply and partially because I'm an old man now and I hear that's what we say. And that is how I learned of my beloved crazy aunt's new relationship. Apparently she took her shiny new boy toy for a spin at a family function over the weekend and I wish I'd been there to see it. The funny thing about this is that I really can't throw my opinion into the fray here. I mean, except for two, every girlfriend I've ever had has been older than me. Some by days, some by months, the majority by years. In fact, my history is so well known that anytime my friends and I watch a show about, talk about or hear about couples with an age difference and I voice an opinion, I get a 'pssh' type comment in reply. The sentiment behind it being, 'Like you can talk'. For a time, my girlfriends were all nicknamed 'Mrs. Robinson'. And they're correct. But I've never quite ventured into the 20 (or 25, not sure how old she is) year territory that crazy aunt is in right now. I think the oldest I've done is a 15 year age difference. Of course, I was like 23 at the time so she was 38-ish. And that's a wee bit depressing to think about now that I'm in my 30's. But even that one was a little much for me once I realized she was closer to my mother's age than my own. The most functional relationships I've had have been with women who are no more than 6 years older than me. No idea why. Not that I'm claiming to have been functional in any of those. And I'm definitely not hating on crazy aunt and her boy toy (if one can be considered that at 40). I'm happy she's happy. I just hope he's still around in a few months time if I go home. This is one show I cannot miss.
