Who has had the following conversations the past 12 hours? Yep, me.
G: I'm glad your transsexual worked. For once my dad was right.
Me: Yes...Please thank your dad for recommending the transsexual. It was obviously the way to go.
G: LMAO!!! Fml man
Me: LOL. Best. Autocorrect. EVER.
G: LOL Right?! It was bad enough without the stuff about my dad in there.
Me: lol Yeah, you've outdone yourself.
**(20 mins elapse)**
Me: Btw, why is transsexual even in your phone?
G: LOL You just now ask me that?
Me: lol Well I was too caught up in the excitement before to think about it
G: Trannys get you excited huh? And here I thought I knew ye.
Me: Only the ones recommended by your dad.
G: So well played. I think the person who owned this phone before me was an Asian transsexual named (or stage named) Jody Wong.
Me: I love her.
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A friend randomly asked me if I would want to know if they were terminally ill, or if I would want them to just keep it to themselves and go on about life. My first response was, 'What. The. Fuck.' (in those words exactly), but I eventually answered that of course I would want to know. I posed the same question back and she pondered for awhile and said part of her would like to be completely oblivious if I were sick. The rest of the convo follows:
Her: "However...I know for a fact that if I were to find out, I would hate you.
Me: "Well I'd be dead so not sure what the ramifications of your hate would be.
Her: "Oh, you'd feel it fucker."
I bet I would too.
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On the phone with G.
Me: "Damn. Hang on a second."
G: "What happened?"
Me: "I cut my finger. I'm spilling [sis-in-law's] blood all over the floor."
G: "Now is that how we treat new things, [full name]?"
