Everybody who enjoys writing does so in their own way. The majority of my posts are written and posted in one sitting, but there are times it takes longer to finish them. Sometimes I just have an idea about what I want to write and post a single sentence or thought so I can remember to elaborate on it later. Other times I complete a post only to rewrite it a few days later because it wasn't quite right. But they all see the light of day eventually. And there's really not much I won't post about, not because I'm an exhibitionist but because this is my outlet and helps me work through things. A friend of mine who also keeps a blog has always typed up various ideas and posts in a separate program on their computer and now has a folder full of posts that haven't made it to the blog yet. I totally get it, I never post mine until they're perfect (in my head, anyway) and say everything I want them to. But I find that I do some of my best writing on the fly. If I have too long to think about it, I'll find errors that aren't really there and the nitpicking will begin.
This friend recently decided to try writing and posting in one sitting and, a week in, I think it's going well. The most recent post was about aging (and mentioned that they're TWELVE YEARS away from 40. Well boo-freakin'-hoo, I'm NINE YEARS away). In case you missed it, I turned 31 last week so I of course have an opinion on the subject. Aging sucks. That's my consensus thus far. It sucks even more when you first start to notice the signs. You don't worry about whether or not you look old in college, because you automatically assume you're hot stuff (or at least not old). Post-college, the wear and tear of those years begins to show. It started for me when I found three grey hairs in my 20's and yanked them out as quickly as I could. Then I meticulously checked my hair for signs of that blasted color (or lack of pigment, as it were) everyday for months. I was much more paranoid about aging than I ever thought I would be. But a few years ago I realized that getting the chance to age is a privilege and it's one I'm very fortunate to have and I decided to stop sweating the small stuff.
But then came my friend's blog post about aging and here I am staring in the mirror again. I've found one grey hair in my 30's (so far) and, again, yanked it out as quickly as I could. I don't like grey hair (who does, right?). And it concerns me that I've already had one so early into my 30's. That makes me fear what's coming next. Although, maybe I should just be happy to still have hair as I get later into my 30's since my hairline is receding (which is why I wear hats as often as possible nowadays). I'd definitely rather go grey than go bald. Other than the hair, everything else seems to be holding up okay. I've been told I look younger than my 31 years and I guess I do some days. But other days I see stuff that wasn't there in my 20's and it's a wee bit depressing. I have lines on my face but nothing major (in my opinion anyway). I don't typically feel old, so I guess that's good I guess. Who knows how the looks will evolve over the next decade?
It's not so much physical stuff that makes me feel old though. It's more seeing or hearing stuff from my younger years that hammers home just how old I am now. I remember as a kid my mom (then in her 30's) would talk about some famous person from her childhood having a birthday or a baby or dying and she'd say time flies. I now know exactly how she felt and what she was talking about. When the 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' came to TV Land, I was appalled. But that's nothing compared to how I felt when I saw Jon Bon Jovi hocking Advil a month ago (and several times since). Talk about a gut punch. It was one of those defining, 'damn you old' moments for me. It didn't make me feel any better to realize I take Advil kind of a lot. Yeah. Fun times. I'm probably less than a decade away from telling my daughter about how I can't believe someone I used to idolize died (or, in this day and age, had a baby at some ridiculously old age). But that's a good thing. Because it means I'll be around to tell her all about it. And it will most definitely be a privilege.
