You know what really grinds my gears? Peeps thinking they have all the answers when it comes to raising kids. Peeps that think one thing is right and one thing is wrong for everyone and their kids. I've had arguments with this same person I'm referring to before, most notably about my daughter learning more than one language. She claims that Miss N will be "confused" by all the information going into her brain and end up not speaking proper English. I know that kids are sponges and it's much easier for them to learn and retain things like language when they're young, as opposed to learning it when they're adults. She's also criticized me before about discipline, saying that if I don't keep my kid reeled in and robotic one hundred percent of the time that she'll be more rebellious as a teenager. Being that I've already raised a teenager, I told her where she could put her advice on that particular subject. Mind you, all of this is coming from a woman who has no children of her own (she's expecting one later this year though...*shudder*), and who doesn't even speak to her step-children because they don't like her either. But my friend turned 30 today and invited his dad to his party and with dad comes dad's new-ish wife, who is about 5 minutes older than me but apparently has all the answers to everything in life. This clan is my bro-in-law's family and no one had more trouble accepting step-mommy more than him. His siblings just ignored her for the most part, but he couldn't figure out what to think about it all. Then, she got pregnant and the idea of having a sibling that is 32 years younger than him caused a falling out between himself and his father. His brother, whose birthday was today, has tried to be more civil towards her because he's been attempting to rebuild his relationship with his father for a few years now. But after today, that relationship may be on hold.
I've written before about my sister's oldest son and how he was born with hearing issues. It was an adjustment for everyone in the family but we all coped pretty well, and my sister and bro-in-law coped amazingly well. We learned Sign Language and figured out how to work the various alarms and gadgets in the house that were designed to help him (think modified fire alarms, etc.). A few years ago, he fell in love with hockey and wanted to play in a league with his cousin but needed to be able to hear to do so. His parents weighed the pros and cons of getting him a cochlear implant but ultimately left the decision up to him. He understood if he got one he would most likely be able to play hockey, but that he would also need intensive therapy to learn how to function once he could hear. He chose to get one and it's been nothing short of amazing. He plays hockey now, his speech is getting better everyday and he's such a happy kid. He wears his scars proudly and is willing to talk about his surgery with anyone who asks. And the kid is only 10. I couldn't be prouder of how he's handled everything. But, and this is a big but, we've also ALWAYS made it clear to him that there was nothing "wrong" with him before and that the implants were not to "fix" him in any way. If he hadn't found hockey, who knows if he ever would've wanted to get implants? If he saw no reason to do so and was happy the way he was then that would've been the end of the discussion. And it's likely a discussion that will be had again someday when his brother (also deaf) is old enough to make the same decision for himself.
The real kicker to this argument is that this woman is essentially the step-grandmother to my sister's kids (*shudder again*) and yet her position is that they "forced" their son to get the surgery because his not being able to hear made him not good enough for them. To borrow the word of a friend; what-the-fuck-ever. Kids come in all shapes and sizes, hearing and non-hearing, special needs and non-special needs and it shouldn't matter to a true parent what kind of kid they get. And it didn't to the sibs, he's always just been their son. Second, if they perceived being deaf to be a flaw, why would they then go out and adopt another child who cannot hear? It's not exactly cheap to have a kid who requires extra attention, nevermind two. She went on about how the surgery was "cruel" and usually causes more harm than good, and some people do end up losing whatever hearing they had left, but the nephew did not so why are you criticizing something that obviously worked? Cruel makes it sound like it was forced on him and it was not at all. The whole fight was stupid and ruined an otherwise fun party. And this woman doesn't exactly strike me as someone who should parent at all, she's so fucking vain and selfish. God forbid (seriously, I don't wish bad on anybody's children) she have a kid who needs extra attention for whatever reason.
