Mom: I'm just saying, I don't know why you don't take a wife already. You're going to be 33.
Me: It's not like I can just go down to the market and pick out a wife, ma.
Brother: Why don't you go out and take a husband?
Mom: Nobody needs a husband.
Me: Well, that's how most of the women I date feel, so you just answered your own question.
Mom: Miss N would love a sibling...
Me: Nobody needs a sibling.
Mom: Then at least get her a dog.
Me: Will you get off my back if I do?
Mom: Temporarily.
Me: You know, 33 and single doesn't exactly make me a spinster. The median age for marriage increases every year.
Mom: So does the divorce rate.
Me: So...You want me to take a wife Ben though there's a 50% chance it won't last anyway?
Mom: Yes. Because I'm sure you'll choose the right person and it will last.
Brother: Um...he hasn't so far.
Mom: What about [G]? Or [A]?
Me: What about them?
Mom: They were both great for you. And your kids would've been gorgeous.
Me: ...Is there a point to this?
Brother: Yes. Get in the DeLoreon and go marry one of them to make her happy.
Mom: Well if you loved me, you would!
