Made The Block, Sat And Thought There's More I Need...But It's Always Back To You

This is the song I was originally going to post that reminded me of the BP debacle. This was me in that relationship. Every single time she lashed out at me or was just mean to me for no reason, every time she got angry and screamed at me...just tore me completely down. I was "shattered" for a good half of that relationship. But I always went back. In the beginning, it was because she manipulated me into it by saying I was "just like everyone else" in her life who had left her; her birth father, her step-father and every man she'd ever dated. But once I opened my eyes to the fact that it was just a manipulation, she began to run out of ways to keep me on the line. Towards the end of our relationship, when she was trying to convince me to stick it out, I remember her saying something along the lines of how she'd never been in a really serious relationship. Never been close to marriage or kids. And it made me think. There's a reason for that. Most people by the age of 36 have been close to at least one of those things at some point. Especially a serious relationship. Her "longest" relationship was with an ex who she basically dated in between her time working on the road. She was gone MUCH more than she was home and they were on and off most of the time. She says it was a seven year relationship, and it was, but it was not the type that she liked to pretend it was. The seven year figure made her feel better about it, I guess. But really, it was just an on/off thing that continued for a long stretch of time. It was convenient for her to have someone waiting during the times she didn't have to work. And I think that's also what I became to her in the end because that's how she honestly thinks relationships should work. She thinks she should be able to go out and work and play and neglect something for weeks or months and yet it will still be there when she decides to pick it up again. I'd say she should get a puppy but she doesn't like animals (shoulda been a red flag for me) and frankly, no living thing deserves to be treated the way she treated me.