*"Push It" comes on the PA system*
Me: I think it's ridiculous they don't perform some of their better songs anymore.
G: Well, Salt found Jesus.
Me: So? They don't have to relate it to sex. They could push something else.
Y: Like a shopping cart.
G: Salt 'n Pepa's here and we're in effect, push that Target cart, yep
R: Could be pushing out a kid. Jesus is probably okay with that.
Y: I'm so disappointed I didn't choose to have that idea as a part of Miss L's birth.
E: Could be pushing a broom across the floor of a factory.
Me: See? Many more options. Sub one in and sing the damn song.
Y: What about "Shoop" though? How do they make that Jesus friendly?
G: Perhaps something like...Brother wanna thank your heavenly father for a crucifix like that
Me: YES. We shall rewrite all of their songs into Jesus friendly versions. Like Weird Al. Only for Jesus.
