Cousin: I lost two more inches!
Me: You know...that declaration would not get the same reaction if a dude said it.
Cousin: lol No it would not. Did you see that guy who got a penis reduction?
Me: I saw the headline but didn't read it.
Cousin: Apparently it was oddly shaped and "too big" so they reduced it.
Me: ...Without being at all specific, how would one go about reducing that particular appendage?
Cousin: I don't know. I guess they just cut the head off, shave off some more inches and then reattach.
Me:
Cousin: LMAO
Me: That is literally the look on my face right now. And I haven't shaved yet so you can include the beard in that mental image lol.
Cousin: Men are such wusses. Women have breast reductions all the time and they're basically the same procedure.
Me: Uh, it wasn't the reduction that was the problem. It was you nonchalantly talking about hacking the head off and then Elmer's gluing it back on.
Cousin: LOL. Elmer's! At least it's the expensive stuff and not dollar store glue.
Me: lol And how.
