Let's Hear It For The Ho

As many of those closest to me are aware, it's been a trying week for me. It really began on Sunday and it's been non-stop negativity since then. To top it all off, I've slept a grand total of twelve hours in the last five days. Hopefully, things start to turn around this weekend. I'm about at my limit with the lack of sleep and the only thing I want in the world right now is for my family's medical issues to stabilize. Good news is always welcome and right now it's desperately needed.

In the midst of the bad stuff this week, I still managed to turn 33. And honestly, I'm too tired to notice and/or care. But the people who love me did notice and care and sent birthday messages that helped me make it through this week. Thank y'all not only for the messages, but for listening to me and advising me throughout this past week. I don't know what I'd do without y'all. Some of my favorite birthday greetings are below.

Friend: Happy Birthday babe!!

Me: Thank you!

Friend: If you were here, I'd offer up some of my hot classmates for you to do whatever you pleased.

Me: lol So you did get me something, huh?

Friend: lol Yes. I sure did.

==========

Friend: It's your birthday! Mofo birthday hugs for my boo!!

==========

G: Let's hear it for the ho, lets give the whore a haaaaaaand. Let's hear it for Giuseppe. And all those one night staaaaaands. He's every wo-man's Romeo, five bucks and he'll be your loving one man show. OHHHHHHHHH-OHHHHHHH-OHHHHHHHHH-OHHH. Let's hear it for the booooooyyy. Happy Birthday homespice!

Me: LMAO. Your birthday greetings...are my favorite.

G: lol Well it's only once a year that I have to come up with material, so that helps.

Me: lol What about everyone else's birthday?

G: I just steal shit from Hallmark for them. But for you, I write songs. Because we have special bondage.

Me: LOL. You knew just what I wanted for my birthday, didn't you?

G: lol Yessir.

==========

Mama T: Happy Birthday! Take a break from the crazy stuff tonight and find some hot tail!

Me: lol Um...thank you. It's not a birthday until my child's grandmother tells me to go have some sex.

Mama T: I can be young and hip. I know what the kids do.

==========

Miss N's Mom: My mom is going to text you something you don't want to hear from an older woman so be on the lookout.

Me: lol Yeah, you're about thirty seconds too late.

MNM: lol Tell me she omitted the tail thing...

Me: Negative. She also went on to sake me if I still date "older ladies" now that a 15-year age gap means they'd be pushing 50.

MNM: LOL. Damn. Wait...did my mom hit on you?

Me: lol I sure hope not. Last I checked, none of us are from redneck country.

MNM: We were a couple...then we were friends...then lovers...then parents...and now step-family.

Me: Well there was really nowhere left for us to go, huh?

MNM: Oh btw, Happy Birthday! And thanks for the child. Not so much for becoming our girl's granddaddy.

==========

Crazy Aunt: Happy Birthday, mijo!! I'm glad you ruined everyone's plans and were born 33 years ago.

Cousin: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE! Love you.

Crazy Aunt: I love you very much too. You're my favorite nephew.

Cousin: Hey!

Crazy Aunt: Your birthday is in July, you can be my favorite nephew then.

Crazy Aunt: (Not really though. You've always been my favorite, Giuseppe.

Cousin: You're still in the group text you vile old bat.

Crazy Aunt: Oh. Oh well.

Me: LMAO. Happy Birthday to me.

==========

Friend: Happy Birthday to my best friend, business partner and juice box sipping, helmut wearing, Fonz worshipping other half. You are the Milli to my Vanilli, the filling to me Oreo cookie, the fourth period to my hockey game. I adore you Giuseppe!

Thank y'all for the support and the much needed laughs.