The ladies in my life are going through some tough-ish times at the moment and it annoys me that I can do absolutely nothing about it. My mom, Miss N and her mom are all having medical issues that have a "wait and see" tag attached to them. And all of these issues have popped up in the last few days, which is just ridiculous. Apparently April is coming in like a lion. Of course, April is already a difficult month for me so all of this is just increasing the difficulty. I hope things work out for the best, and the healthiest, for all three of them but it's the waiting that's a pain in the ass. I have no patience so you can imagine how I get when there's a wait of undetermined length for something like medical problems. But this year has been good to those I love so far and I'm determined to try and get back on that path. For all of it's faults, there are good things about April. It's the first full month of spring. Miss N's birthday is next week, and her birthday party is this weekend. That's a great thing. Sir Elton (who finally has an "official" name, though I won't believe it until they've committed to it on the birth certificate) is due to arrive at the end of the month and I'm beyond excited about that. My niece turns 15 (Jesus) this month. And the sister and I turn 33 just a few days after that. All good things. I was talking to my mom and the incomparable Crazy Aunt today about this month's happenings. Somehow, no one had realized until that conversation that even my birth month has me surrounded by girls. Miss N, the niece, the sister, a cousin and the sister-in-law all have birthdays this month. But I'm the only dude born in April. First off, how does it take an entire of family of people 33 years to notice something like this. And second, what the hell? I mean, I don't have anything against the fairer sex (obviously), but my best friend is a chick, my twin is a chick, my daughter is a chick...I don't think I was ever meant to NOT be surrounded by ladies. Which is fine, really. But it's funny how this manwhore never really a chance to escape all that estrogen. I must have had some colorful adventures in past lives (and I'd bet Monopoly money that I'll be surrounded by dudes in my next life).
As I approach 33, I find myself quite 'meh' about it all. I'm thankful to make it this far, but that's about it. No real freakouts or OMG moments about this or that. I think you get that out of the way when you turn 30 and then you're just kinda like, "Yeah...I'm thirty [whatever] now" and you move on. Someone asked me the other day if I feel 33. Hell no. In fact, I think my body believes I'm a decade younger than that half the time. It's up for anything and seems to have a way of conveniently making me forget how much it's gonna hurt in the morning after I overdo it. But even that's fine with me. I seem to have more trouble coping with Miss N's aging than I do my own. She's gonna be six and I just can't wrap my head around that. I remember her as this little one who I used to sit with in the middle of the night and read with. We still do that but now she can read to me. It just goes by way too fast, man. But I'm kinda glad I've only had one child to watch grow to this age. I think I would have missed way too many milestones and 'wow' moments if there were two or three kids to deal with at once. Of course, now that Miss N realizes how old she's getting, she thinks it's high time she had a sibling. And a puppy. But lately she's pushing the sibling. It's somewhat adorable how she and my elders seem to have the same view on me having more kids; they both think it's just so easy, like I can pull another kid outta thin air. I've yet to tell the elders or Miss N that I do want another kid though. I already get enough pressure about it, I don't need 'em all on my back about it even more. That's another thing that's changed as Miss N has gotten older. She's becoming just another lady in my life who tells me what I do wrong and how I should fix myself. She actually gave me an annoyed, 'are you serious right now' look last week when I finished eating breakfast over the sink, rather than sitting down with a plate like a civilized human being. It was hilarious. And yet another reason why I miss my little Miss N. Not just because my soon-to-be six-year-old can scold me now, but also because I just love kids at those younger ages. They're entertaining, they're cute and they're fascinated by the tiniest things. Maybe that's why I'm not having trouble turning 33, because I'm having trouble reconciling how old my kid is. And she's just gonna keep growing. I mean, she can already sass me and scold me about things. It's like having a tiny version of all the other women in my life with me. But I can't complain. I'm a lucky boy.
